Sunday, February 10, 2008

Sonja at Sunrise

Parts of this story are true.

Red Sonja and I are at Waffle House. The waitresses don't bat an eye. They're used to me bringing fictional characters in for breakfast. Two truck drivers in a corner, however ,are all goggle eyed at my companion in her chain mail bikini. (Technically it's plate mail, I think.)
I say, "Do you want a sweater or something? Chilly this morning."
She gives me a look. "I have crossed the frozen wastes above Hyperborea in this armor."
"Um, okay. Isn't that mail a little cold against your skin though?"
Her eyes glitter wickedly. "It's padded inside. Shall I show you?"
"Not just now. I know that you say you wear it to distract your male opponents. I'm distracted enough, thanks."
Just then a young mother comes in with her little boy. The kid, who looks to be about five, makes a bee-line for my table.
"Hey!" the boy says. "I found it!" He holds up a DVD case which contains some cartoon movie I'm unfamiliar with.
"Cool!" I say. "Glad you found it."
His mother takes him by the shoulders and steers him away. She's pretty with long brown hair and large eyes. She says, "Sorry."
"No problem. Enthusiasm is a good thing."
She smiles and leads the boy to a table. Sonja says, "I like the boy. He is fearless."
"They usually are that age. You ever think of having children?"
"Of course. But it's not the path I chose."
She's quiet for several moments and I say, "So. Seen Conan lately?"
She grins. "Aye, we tried to rob a temple a fortnight ago."
I say, "Let me guess. A statue in the temple came to life and attacked you."
"Three statues."
"I figured it was that or giant spiders. Well tell the big lug I said hello next time you see him."
"I shall."
We chat a bit more and then Sonja tells me she has to get back to Ophir. I pay the bill and we step outside, breaking the truck drivers hearts. The sun is up and the air feels more like fall than winter. I bid Sonja farewell and head for my truck. Looking back I see that she glances through the window at the mother and son. Then she steps back onto the path she has chosen.

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