Monday, January 26, 2009

Some Things I Have Learned About Cats

Cats do not like closed doors, be they closets, cabinets, bathrooms or whatever. Cats want all access all the time. Even when the bathroom has two doors, both doors must be accessible to cats.

Though cats will not learn English they are very put out that you do not speak cat. "That meow meant I wanted the faucet turned on so I can drink from the tap, not that I wanted the other door opened. Jeez. Though while you're at it, open that door."

If you attempt to lie on the floor and read, cats must recline upon your open book or magazine. Looking at cats is much better than those silly words you were staring at.

If you get out of bed at 4:30 five days a week, then cats expect you to get up at the same time on weekends. Walking up and down on your back as you attempt to snooze is one way of showing you that cats think you should be up now, even though they have food and water and everything else. Other methods include meowing, climbing on all the shelves in the bedroom and running back and forth to the living room. And if you get up, then half an hour later the cats will have gone back to sleep. And if you were thinking of putting them out of the bedroom and closing the door then you need to re-read the first thing about cats above.

No matter how many times you show cats that they do not like coffee, wheat bread, rice, or other foodstuffs they would still like to try it one more time just to be sure.

Whatever chair you are sitting in is where cats wish to be sitting and every time you get up you will find a cat in that chair when you return. Said cat will not be happy when asked to move.

If you are lying in bed reading, cats will curl up beside your head and purr.

If you open a window, cats will climb on the sill and watch birds and make odd little noises in their throats.

Cats do not like thunder.

Sitting on the couch watching a movie with two sleeping cats beside you is not at all a bad thing.

Those are some things that I have learned about cats.


lk said...

LOL. Lovely

sexy said...
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