Thursday, August 18, 2011

Why I'm Not Seeing Conan the Barbarian Tomorrow

No, it isn't because of the vitriolic fanboy reviews on the net or even because of better considered reviews by folks whose opinions I trust, because I haven't read ANY reviews. I'm a thinking human being who likes to make his own decisions after actually seeing a film, which disqualifies me for half the discussions of the film on various message boards right now, I know. Call me Foolish. Call me irresponsible.
No, the far more prosaic reason I won't be seeing Conan the Barbarian when it premieres here on Friday is because even if I went, I couldn't see it. Yesterday I broke my glasses.
I'll spare you the gory details, so let's just say I stepped on them and that there may or may not have been a cat named Bruce involved. The important part being, my glasses are, to use a military term FUBAR. And no, I don't have a back-up pair. My eyesight hasn't changed much over the years, so last time I visited the optometrist, I didn't' have to get new glasses, and I've no idea where the pair before that has gone. Anyway, I did go to the eye doctor and two, count em, two new pair of glasses are on the way, but they will not arrive before the weekend.
Fortunately I am nearsighted, which means I can still do my job, read, and type on the computer, as I am doing now. Unfortunately, I am nearsighted, which means that without my glasses, Conan would look like an animated film produced by Monet. Conan the Impressionistic, anyone?
I had planned to hit the first showing tomorrow so I could get my review up here for the weekend, but alas, that isn't going to work out. Sometimes fate takes a hand.


Mikeyboy said...

ahh man too bad...Burgess Meredith comes to mind on that one. Irony. Even more Irony...I know a bass player named Bruce. Bruce is bad luck...every show I ever did with his was a disaster. He walks around with two..count'em two YATTERINGS following him around messing up everyone elses life.
No'll get to see the movie in due time.
I have written a scant few blog posts on the new film but never a review. I talked about bad press and skeptics....but. I'll be my own judge too thank you very much! Take care...

Charles R. Rutledge said...

Yeah, it's annoying, but I'll be there next weekend I'm sure.

Cromsblood said...

If by "Bruce", you mean Tequila, then I hear you loud and clear Charles. Same thing happened to me a while back. A friend discovered my glasses on the front lawn the next day, and I can't say that it was me that stepped on them, but a betting man would be a fool to wager against it.

Damn you Bruce!

Charles R. Rutledge said...

This Bruce is a very energetic black cat. For some reason he likes to play with my glasses, and I usually remember to put them where he can't get them, but I left them on the kitchen counter and he apparently knocked them in the floor while I was in the shower. So when I stomped into the kitchen in my size 13 shoes...crunch.