Thursday, September 01, 2011
Two Hours of My Life Wasted
Well, I have just walked in the door from viewing Conan the Barbarian. In a word? Awful. I hated it. I almost got up and walked out twice. Not surprisingly, it was a private showing. I was literally the only person in the theater. Everyone else was smarter than me and stayed home. Word of mouth is killing this movie, but not fast enough.
Badly written, cliched summer blockbuster plot made up of bits of other movies and some simpleton's idea of what comprises sword & sorcery. The dialog often didn't make sense. The film was badly edited. Most of the acting was horrendously bad. Look at it this way. Any movie where the best performance is Rose McGowan is a bad thing. The sets looked like leftovers from a bad viking movie. Someone should call Hercules The Legendary Journeys and tell them they can have their costumes back.
The only bright spots I can think of were a couple of the action sequences and Jason Momoa. Jason looked good as Conan. He spat his lines well enough. Given a decent script and a real director he would be okay. But seriously folks, I would rather watch the Arnold movie, and you know what I think of the Arnold movie. It was that bad. Even if I'd never heard of Robert E. Howard, I would consider this one of the worst movies I've ever seen. Save your money. Don't go.